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Ma Durga
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Ma Durga
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Ma Durga
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Three weeks ago, I had the fortune of listening to Paramahamsa Nithyananda’s (fondly known as Swamiji) life encournter which gave me an instant initiation into the truth of graceful exit during death. I want to share this beautiful story with the world because it has such a deep significance in our lives – the only life insurance we can build for ourselves. I was able to have the same entanglement when Swamiji narrated this incident.
Read the narration with awareness.
“One evening I heard the news that Swami Vairakyananda – Ramakrishna’s dharma pathni, aridhangini, Sharada Devi’s disciple that he was in hospital really ill and need to be attended. So I ran to the hospital and I had the opportunity of serving him, the best punya (merit) is serving the elderly sadhu (monk) especially when they are sick. By the time I went and started attending to him he was not able to go to restroom. He used to have everything in the bed itself and he developed little bed sore and I used to attend to that. The best thing I enjoyed in my life is taking care of elderly Sadhus. I will always be there when there is elderly sadhus who are not well, who need to be attended.
I was attending to him, I had the fortune of attending to him few days continuously. He was so happy with the way I took care of him. I can see clearly his internal organs were failing, but the beam and joy on his face, even at that time he would not lie down flat. He would say “Hey! Only bogies (people who enjoy sense pleasures) lie down flat, never yogis! His internal organs were failing, he might be alive maximum for next 24 or 48 hours. He asked me to make him sit, he would and stretch his legs. The moment he closed his eyes, that smile and the joy on his face, the way he radiated, I could touch and feel God in the air he was breathing, in the space he was radiating! So I was serving him, taking care of him, I cleaned up all the pus on his back due to bed sore.
He just opened his eyes and said, “Koka! Listen, if you enjoyed only five senses related pleasures, when that five senses cannot function any more, you fall in depression, because life will feel empty, then if you enjoyed only kind of a thinking, the intellectual pleasures, like scientists mathematician logicians, when that logic is failing, the powerful logic is giving way, you will fall into depression.”
He was narrating beautifully, “If you are all the time hooked on to the TV when your eyes fail you fall into depression, if you are all the time hooked on to the music when your ears fail you fall into the depression, if you are all the time hooked on to the tongue when your tongue fails you fall into depression, if you are all the time hooked on to the physical pleasures when your body fails, you fall into depression, if you are all the time into this intellectual debates and brain candy when that fails you will fall into depression. Even if you have developed only the power of repeating the name of God through Japa (silent chanting), when your logic slowly fails you will not be able to do that, you will fall into depression. If you have visualized and meditated on God when your visualization is getting dull, you will fall into depression, you will not be able to hold anything.”
He was describing step by step, he said, “Throughout my life, I developed to rest in that pure unclutching space and my integrity to my Guru, so even though one by one, my senses have failed, my intellect is failing, my ability to remember is failing, my visualization is failing, my emotions are failing, all that are failing, but, because my whole life I developed the strength of resting in my pure completion and unclutching space or pure questioning, whatever I say, that Advaita nirvikalpa Samadhi (space of oneness), now I am simply resting into it, beyond that is my integrity to my Guru which is holding me from the bottom. So I just know I am relaxing in the right space, there is no depression, there is only joy, this is what you can learn from my life as lesson.”
This is the most powerful, old age insurance you can have. The one and only thing you need to develop is your ability to rest in an unclutched space, the space of Perpetual Completion, Sahaja Samadhi and even that will collapse, that time only one thing can hold you – that is your integrity to your Guru!! He said the only thing he developed in his life is his ability to relax in Nirvikalpa Samadhi. When that also gave way, he knew he would just fall into his Cosmic Mother’s lap because he was completely integrated to Her! The joy was beaming on his face!
He was so honest and integrated about what he was talking, the power of his integrity I got entangled with that experience, I was literally vibrating the space from which he was describing, the entanglement was what I feel his initiation to me. That was the way he transmitted whatever he wanted to give me – a blessing, fulfillment, completion.”
The best thing you should develop in your system is your ability to be in the space of unclutching, Nirvikalpa Samadhi, the space of Sadha-Shivoham, the space of Perpetual Completion, space of Sahaja Samadhi, space of Nithyanandhoham, whatever different words I may use, I mean only that space which is technically called by Sadha-Shiva as Sayujya Samadhi or Sadha-Shivoham or Nirvikalpa Samadhi by Patanjali; Nirbija Samadhi by Adi Shankara. You should develop only that space and that space also will give way at one point, then the space you fall is that ‘Integrity with your Guru’. You need to understand that is the last space you will fall, after that you can’t do anything, that hand has to just take you in and digest you.
He said “The last point I am going to fall, the Nirvikalpa Samadhi I have developed in me and I am sure about my integrity with my Cosmic mother, I will go to my mother’s house because I was so integrated to her. I will fall into her lap and I will go to my mother’s house.” Understand, the moment he said this, and it clicked with me, the entanglement was so beautiful, I could see what he was saying was with complete integrity and it just entered into my system, literally may be one hour, that conversation was going on, I was literally in his space, I was literally living what he was talking. When he completely narrated, and I just held his hand. I said “Maharaji! Can I hug you?” He smiled and I just hugged him. Then I think after that he was in the body, may be two days or less than two days, then he gave me mother’s padha thuli, feet dust (kum-kum) of Sharada Devi to me for worshipping, which he was was worshipping his whole life.
Exactly what I learnt from Vairakyananda Swami is something cannot be taught. The only teaching I can give you is “it cannot be taught”. Build the ability to be in Nirvikalpa Samadhi, Unclutched Space, Complete Completion, Sahaja Samadhi, Perpetual Completion, that is the only right spiritual practice you can do!! Nothing else! When all things collapse, the only thing that can take you to the ultimate is your ability to be in the unclutched space when you are in the body. When everything is active if you have made that opening in you, the Sahaja Samadhi and you will fall through that opening into your integrity with Guru, He will simply hold you, you will relax into enlightenment.
Understand, compromise on anything but not on Integrity with Guru! That will take care of you and save you anywhere! He said, I know one thing, I have developed the joy and bliss of unclutching space in me, that chemistry I have developed in me, and my integrity to my Guru, as long as I exists, I will fall into that unclutched space, and from there I know I will fall only into my Guru, because my integrity with my Guru, over! What a way to spend the old age and time in death bed and what a way to leave the body. I tell you the fruit of the way you live is only the way you leave the body. Nothing else! Not what you left, but the way you left is essence of your Life.
This 3rd verse of Keno Upanishad is the essence of Swami Vairakiananda’s teachings to me.
na tatra cakShurgacchati na vAggacchati no manaH
na vidmo na vijAnImo yathaitadanushiShyAta.h
anyadeva tadviditAdatho aviditAdadhi iti shushruma
pUrveShAM ye nastad.hvyAcacakShare
Translation:“Where the eye goes not, the speech goes not, nor the mind and the intellect, we do not know, we do not understand, how that reality consciousness can be taught it is distinct from the known as it is far beyond man’s finite objective nature that is what the mind eyes ears or speech, the senses can perceive and it is beyond the unknown as it can be known by man’s divine infinitive subjective nature thus the word from the ancient masters who revealed and explained tatvas.”
If you have developed that unclutched space and integrity with your Guru, your life insurance is done. That’s all, after that everything you do is bonus. If you have not done that, develop that with all your energy and intelligence, don’t wait in the old age you can develop, NO! Do it now! That’s the most important first priority thing you need to do for your life. Let you all have that experience and truth of Nirvikalpa Samadhi and the integrity with the Master! Let you all have this most important Life Insurance for life and death, for living and leaving!
Now catch it! Namaste 😀
Do you suffer from the parental conditioning?
Are you a victim of the societal conditioning?
I’ve seen many people suffer so much in their life due to conditionings. As I was researching on how the conditioning started in us, I remembered clearly one Yoga Sutra from Patanjali on “The Law of Making Laws” which Paramahamsa Nithyananda (fondly known as Swamiji) expounded in 2010.
The sutra states clearly: “Jaati Desha Kaala Samaya Anavacchinnah Saarvabhaumah Mahavratam” ~ Patanjali Yoga Sutra 82, chapter 2, verse 31
This is translated to “These great 5 vows – ahimsa (non-violence), satya (truth), asteya (non-stealing), brahmacharya (living like God) and aparigrahah (living with minimal things) are universal truths; not conditioned, not restricted by birth, place or time, circumstances or situations – beyond all these 4, these 5 vows are universal.”
All the conditionings of human beings from which we suffer are of 4 categories:
- Jaati (birth) – The parents whom you chose to assume this body and the family you are brought up determine the parental conditioning, their thought patterns and the number of DNA strands being awakened in you. Swamiji once revealed that the parental conditioning disappears only after your death or after enlightenment. This shows the deep-rooted influence our parent’s muscle memory and bio memory have in us.
- Desha (place) – The place we are brought up also plays a major role in the laws that are necessary for us – the country, the community and the environment. Country laws are created from the understanding of the benefits of living together as a community.
- Kaala (time) – This is another important conditioning in terms of the time or period we happen and the right understanding on the concept of time in terms of the chronological time, psychological and cosmic time. The truth is we are not bound by time.
- Samaya (situation or circumstance) – the way life flows as a happening can also create certain cognitions in us. For e.g. a child went to a beach with his father for an evening walk. In that walk, he witnessed a murder on the beach which shook him totally. The child’s cognition is the beach is a scary place. For 40 years, he avoided going to the beach because of the conditioning of fear made him miss the experience of enjoying the nature on a beach. Look at how certain situations create the patterns in us.
These are the 4 conditionings which cause the majority of the sufferings we experience in life. Swamiji revealed that whenever we go to the Source of the law – analyzing it with the 4 conditionings, we will be liberated by the law and from the law. Each law that tortures you, take that law and analyze with these 4 conditionings, simply you will be liberated from that law! The one who is liberated by the law, he can play with the law.
If these 4 conditionings are removed from our cognitions, what remains is only pure consciousness. So these 5 principles – ahimsa, asteya, satya, aparigraha & brahmacharya are wealth kept in our consciousness. They exist universally beyond the 4 conditionings, not as a law or rule. These 5 principles can be lived only when we realize they are wealth to us, they are both the law and energy that enforces the laws (both are called Yama). To realize this, we need to be awakened consciously by going into the source of law from where it comes from, then we will be able to experience the energy from where it comes from.
In essence, whenever we go to source of law, we are liberated by the law and from the law. Breaking the 4 conditionings is the first step to experience your consciousness and the conscious wealth. Namaste 😀
In the path of spiritual awakening, one of the things we have to go beyond is the fear of the Unknown. During December 2013 Inner Awakening program in Bali, a 21-day spiritual retreat conducted by a living avatar, Paramahamsa Nithyananda (fondly known as Swamiji), I realised that I have a tremendous fear of the Unknown, a fear of my own possibilities. At that time, I didn’t know how to complete with this fear but I did acknowledge this fear of Unknown in me.
Swamiji, my Guru (the dispeller of darkness) has been working on this dimension of our awakening since 2015 when he started the Upanishads (ancient Vedic scriptures) discourses. Just by imbibing the truths from the Source, a major cognitive shift has started to happen in me coupled with his initiations into Shivoham in December 2014, Nithyanandoham in December 2015 and the most recent Suddhadvaitam process in Kumbh Mela, Ujjain in May 2016.
This week, I started a process of Manifesting Powers training conducted by one of Swamiji’s ordained Acharya (teacher), Mahayogini Nithya Mahayogananda. She explained that the muscle memory we carry comes from the father’s component while the bio memory we carry comes from the mother’s component in the process of creation. The bio memory refers to the way we cognise our self (whether it is conscious or unconscious, right or wrong, complete or incomplete). There is at least 20% of the mother’s bio memory still sitting within us which we need to complete and drop. Swamiji said that unless we awaken our bio memory by changing the cognitions we carry about our self, we will continue to exist in an unconscious way. Constantly we carry a feeling that life is difficult, a feeling of being beaten and abused by life and blaming life and we create hell for ourselves. So the first task we were given was to investigate the fear of Unknown which was correlated with my mother’s spiritual relationship with the divine, God and the Unknown.
I grew up in a village (kampong) in Singapore surrounded by cemeteries and Nature in the 70’s. As Taoists, we had both family deities and ancestors tablet which my mother offered prayers and rituals diligently. She would grow chickens at the backyard of our house and slaughtered the poor chickens during festivals as offering. I remembered I always ended up being her assistant in the slaughtering of chickens as my other siblings would run away from it. She would make me hold the chicken’s legs while she did the killing. I would spare the gross description of the slaughtering here but I always felt petrified by witnessing the cruelty done to the chickens just to please Gods. During the festivals, she would cooked up a storm and demanded the family to help. She would often become angry if things did not turn out the way she wanted. I dreaded those festivals because it was literally a torture for me and my siblings. Without understanding the context of what she was doing because she never spoke about it except blindly following what she was told by her parents or others. I only saw her beliefs as a blind faith filled with fear and greed – like a bargain with God by pleasing them. I never really understood why we had to do these rituals, so meaningless filled with hypocrisy. I was so delighted when we finally moved to public housing in an apartment because I was liberated from seeing the chickens being killed. As a result, I developed certain resistance towards rituals and have low patience for long rituals which do not resonate with me.
I couldn’t relate with the family deities let alone following the rituals. To me, they were just a picture! Just going through the meaningless rituals was dreadful for me. I felt that people go to God only for begging for something in life. I was not spiritual at all in the growing up years, even though I explored other religions but none of them resonated with me. Till my early 30’s, the only Divine form I prayed to was Quan Yin – the Cosmic Mother of Taoism and I would seek refuge at the largest Quan Yin temple in Singapore. There were simply too many questions about myself, world and God that remained unanswered, I was carrying a fear God and the Unknown.
When I first met Swamiji in 2006, who is the embodiment of Cosmos, my fear got triggered – the fear of Unknown! It was only after being initiated into the Science of completion and living this truth – I am divine (Shivoham) that I am able to start seeing my divine self.
Two nights ago, when I did the assignment given by Ma Mahayogananda i.e. to complete on the clash between my idea of God vs. my mother’s idea of God and the fear of the Unknown, I was able to see everything my mother did was based on her intelligence and frequency at that time. Her connection with God was through ritualistic offering. To her, she did what she knew with sincerity and devotion. She did not have the grace of an enlightened master to shed light in her, that was her way of relating with Divine. After the completion, I felt an overwhelming sense of love and gratitude for her because she added a different perspective to me in relating with God. I remember Swamiji once said that every faith, belief and connection with Divine, however raw, is a possibility for that being to evolve which should be encouraged with love and respect.
My connection with God is through the love from the Master and having Guru Bhakti towards Guru from feeling of gratitude and love, completing the cycle of love into Self in Advaita with Him. From my mother’s life, one thing I did learn was being diligent in my rituals like Guru puja which I never miss unless I am on the road. I am grateful to my mother for that bio memory. The great thing is she never interfered in my choice of religion, beliefs and faith, as such we didn’t have to fight on this aspect of my life. I completed with the differences with understanding and surrendered everything at the Guru’s feet. When I sat with myself in silence this morning, suddenly I experienced a click that I AM the UNKNOWN – the SELF! This revelation created a remembrance that I came down to play and enjoy the leela (divine play) with Self. Over! I just relaxed into the silence of Existence. Sadashivoham! 😀