A few years ago, I used to have a pattern of being quick-tempered whenever I felt violated by people or situations. So much so that it was taking a toll on my relationship with my loved ones. It was only after I met Swamiji, a living enlightened master (also known as Paramahamsa Nithyananda) that I learned how I actually strengthened certain responses unconsciously and how to get out of the patterns.
According to neurophysiologists, deep-rooted mental patterns (also called samskara in Sanskrit) create mental grooves in our brain, just like rivulets in sand, which makes the water run in certain patterns. They say that each time we react in a certain way repeatedly, we strengthen the power of the pathway. Each time the water runs in the same pathway, the rivulet becomes deeper. Same way, each time we react in a certain way to a situation, we strengthen that pattern. For example, if you have a habit of flaring in anger every time you are stressed, you are encouraging and strengthening that engram of anger due to stress. This is a very important truth that everyone must catch because the worst suffering we have is not recognising our pattern is the source of our suffering.
Swamiji gave this understanding beautifully, he said “The river running in the same direction becomes stronger, deeper, and more permanent. Same way, in your brain you have so many rivers – Ganga, Kaveri, Yamuna, Saraswati, Godavari, Narmada, Sindhu! Some of the rivers in your brain are wild rivers like forest rivers. They have the power to suddenly flood and cause calamities in your life. So you need to make a dam to divert such rivers; to make them flow in a different direction. Making that dam and diverting the river to a different direction is what I call sadhana – spiritual practice.”
Neuroplastic science also says that your brain has the ability to create new grooves and pathways, and the existing ones will heal and disappear if it is left on their own. So whenever you are really feeling the stress, fear or anxiety, do something very active such as doing a cathartic meditation or intense weight-lifting to make the body active. You will create a new engram, a different flow of energy, a new groove in the brain simply by working on the body intensely.
Swamiji explained that the next time whenever fear or stress happens in you again, the whole thing will automatically get converted into useful energy instead. When awareness is added to your rajas (restless energy), it can just become part of your life and can be directly useful to you. If you are stressed, if you have anger or fear towards somebody, just take it out with awareness in the gym, yoga or do some intense cathartic processes. He had given several cathartic processes from different traditions: 1) Manipuraka shuddhi kriya or talking in tongues, 2) pranayamas like bhastrika, kapalabhati, 3) loud chanting of Upanishads or Vedic mantras. In the Christian tradition, talking in tongues is called Glasalolia. In the Hindu tradition, we call it Manipuraka shuddhi kriya.
If you learn how to release your stress and fear through catharsis, you will see that you will be creating new rivulets. You will stop strengthening the old patterns, the ugly mental set-up of suffering and torturing yourself, instead you will be able to divert your energy to something life-positive which strengthens your ability to handle yourself with greater confidence.
From my own experience, the way I got out of my anger pattern was through a regular sadhana of daily yoga practice which included silent sitting with myself to unclutch from the dust I collected unconsciously as well as creating a space to witness my thought currents. After the initiation into Nithyanandoham and Suddhadvaitam processes, my sadhana has evolved to daily manifestation of experiences, powers and revelations. Swamiji taught the world the powerful science of completion (poornatva) and through the power of will and declaration to drop and complete with the incompletions which created the thought patterns and emotional patterns. Recently he has given a more subtle technique called pure questioning, when perform with authenticity, can lead one back to the space of completion and inner peace.
In essence, the next time you become aware of certain blind spot or thought pattern which you are suffering, go for spiritual solutions or practices which can heal the cracks in your inner space as well as create new subtle brain grooves such that your transformation becomes permanent. Namaste 😀
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Do you see possibility or impossibility in life?
How often do you shut down a possibility in your life?
Do you keep every possibility available for your child?
The more I work with children, the more I truly embrace the beauty of the space of possibility we can hold for them and ourselves. In life, nothing is impossible really! Life is a huge possibility, every human life is a tremendous possibility waiting to be realised. When we are awakened to our true nature – all knowing, all powerful and eternal Self, we can manifest anything we want in life which not only fulfils us but also do so much good for the entire Universe.
I remembered one important truth shared by my Guru, Paramahamsa Nithyananda (fondly known as Swamiji) which struck a chord in my being. He said that “A possibility happening inside you is like a new bud, like a tiny plant just sprouting out. It should be treated with a lot of love and respect! Every hope, every faith, every trust, and every little possibility should be kept alive, encouraged, and enriched – that is dharma. In the Vedic Tradition, we have a great heart to encourage every possibility.”
That’s the main reason I am so in love with Vedic tradition because it gives individuals so much freedom and space of possibilities to explore and discover. It is so life-affirming which keeps me constantly in a state of excitement and ecstasy about my possibilities and the people I touch. Can you imagine if we can hold this space of possibilities for the next generation? The whole human civilisation will make a quantum leap into Satya Yuga, the Golden Age of Enlightenment!
Frankly, I have also seen many people losing so many things in life, just because they cannot keep the possibility open! Due to their narrow ideas and wrong cognitions about life, they postpone the decision and seal off the possibility. NO!! Don’t shut down your possibilities, or postpone them, just because you cannot encounter or face certain situations in life. A person who shuts down his/her possibility is an atheist. Atheists are people who do not have the subtle grooves in their brain to grasp the subtle higher truths of life. So they just shut down, saying – Nothing like this exists. Shutting down any possibility, shutting down any hope is atheism.
What causes us to shut down our possibilities?
The biggest culprit is the rigidities of rules that got inserted into our consciousness by parents, schools, religious organisations and society. With rigid rules, so many possibilities are stopped! You would have observed how rules stifled a child. When you try to give all these silly rules to your child because you think you know the best way, this is the time you shut down the possibility in your child. He/she feels like a bird with clipped wings. By and by, children respond to life by not even trying because no matter what they do, you will not give them the space and time to explore and make mistake. Nothing wrong in making mistakes in life, it is a part of learning process. When children are not in the space of expansion or being happy, they won’t do it! Unless you give your child a space to make mistakes, you are not making him/her responsible. A possibility can only flower with responsibility. If you want to make a genius out of your child, be very clear you have to make them responsible. Other than the rule of no-violence (ahimsa), no other rules should be solid.
In Swamiji’s Vedic school called Nithyananda Gurukul at Bengaluru Adhneenam, the Gurukul balasanths (child-saints) are given so much space and time to explore and discover their own possibilities. Every child has the freedom to be who they want to be. The space of possibilities is at its peak, it is like a heaven on planet earth for every intelligent being to realise their ultimate possibility.
How can we open up more possibilities?
Swamiji shared that “Keep all hopes alive, even if it is false hope! All hopes lead you to hopelessness, not because they are false hopes, but to lead you to reality. Hope by its very innate intelligence leads you to reality. So keep all the hopes alive. Whenever the possibilities are shut down, hopes are reduced. Everything should be fluid, which a person can bend or alter as per his growing responsibility. Everything should be a flowing guideline, not a rigid rule. Shutting down the possibility is adharma (life-negative). The master keeps even the smallest possibility open. I have happened on planet Earth to open and fill everybody with all hopes; to awaken all the possibilities of you.”
From my own experience, the moment you are connected with a living master, he takes you on a beautiful journey of self-discovery of your higher and higher possibility. I can see what I thought I couldn’t do in the past, everything is becoming a possibility in my life now. As the embodiment of life itself, an enlightened master encourages every possibility in every being as an expression of the Whole.
In essence, let us all encourage every possibility with love and respect in every one in every moment and discard all the rigid man-made rules which bind us. Constantly, keep our hopes alive by taking responsibility to give time, energy and life to experience our highest possibility. Namaste 😀
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Do you feel suffocated by your parents’ expectations?
Can you differentiate attachment vs. responsibility in relationship?
How do you take responsibility in creating a loving and fulfilling relationship?
Many of us are confused with attachment in relationship instead of having a right understanding about responsibility especially when it comes to relationships with parents. After all, our parents are the first two role models in our lives and they have major influence in our lives. Not only we imbibe their body languages, we also are influenced by their thought patterns. This is further complicated by the societal expectations on parents. This is one relationship every seeker needs to complete with as he or she travels on the path of spirituality because the parental conditioning is the last imprint to leave our bio-memory which shows how deep-rooted the conditioning can be.
Relationship is a profound subject, however, I have been blessed to receive more clarity from the guidance of a living enlightened master, Paramhamsa Nithyananda (fondly known as Swamiji).
- Relationship with parents. I remembered Swamiji made it very clear in one discourse in 2009, he said that we are not bound by our parents to live our life the way they want. It is not our duty or responsibility to live their unfulfilled dreams through us. One wrong cognition that many parents carry is they think their child is their extension, so unconsciously they try to force their child to live a life they think is ‘best’ for the child. The truth is the moment we are born, we are independent beings with our own wisdom. We have come to fulfil our own life purpose and possibilities. Our duty to our parents is to give them emotional and moral support whenever they need it, love them and care for them but we don’t give them our life. Many times, we mistake our attachment to them and powerlessness as a duty and responsibility. If you are completely bound by your parent’s way of living and it has become a duty, there is then no possibility for growth and expansion. You will lose the courage to break through and upgrade yourself. Responsibility to your parents is giving them moral support but the highest responsibility to our parents is helping them to become liberated by living enlightenment. The same understanding applies to us when we become new parents, we are there to enjoy our children’s presence and support them so that they can experience their highest possibility.
- Relationship with partner/spouse. The relationship with your partner is like doing penance (tapas) because it truly requires constantly working on yourself and making yourself settle with that person and making that person accept you as you are. To have a loving fulfilling relationship, there should be no hidden agenda but each person is willing to take responsibility in making the relationship work. By working on ourselves and evolving our space, naturally we will be able to align more and more with each other. xannonce.ch
- Relationship with teachers. The responsibility to our teachers is keeping the knowledge they have imparted to us alive and making it flourish and benefit humanity. Whatever knowledge we learn from teachers, we ensure the continuity of this knowledge to the next generation of humanity.
- Relationship with Guru. A Guru-disciple relationship is the most mysterious of all relationships. All the other relationships have happened from the mental and emotional levels. But Guru-disciple relationship operates from the very core of our being. Actually it is not even a relationship, it is a connection between a realized one and the unrealized, the alchemy of merging into oneness. Then the disciples will realize that they were always realized, just that they were not awakened to it. So the only responsibility a disciple has to the Master is to achieve a completion with everything in life and experience oneness (advaita) with Existence.
In essence, we are a free being, we are not bound by anything in relationships. The courage to break free from all expectations and the willingness to take responsibility to stay true to who we truly are is the first step toward becoming integrated, complete and authentic with our being. Namaste: D