Student: “You look very different, I saw it the moment you walked up the staircase.”
Me: “What do you see?”
Student: ”Your face looks very radiant and your eyes sparkle with light. You have changed since I last saw you a few days before you left for Cambodia Inner Awakening retreat. Something tells me you don’t belong to your current place…you are going to expand into something bigger.”
Me: “I don’t know yet..let’s see” (with a big smile)
This was the conversation I had with one of my students last evening when she came for my meditation class. I am only back for one week but it feels like I have been here for a long time especially with so much happening both inside me and outside of me. One thing is for sure, life is not the same anymore. Let me give you a glimpse of your possibility living in Shivoham “I am divine”.
The first thing I notice is that there is so much vast space within my inner space, thoughts of self doubt, self hatred or self denial (SDHD) which I had in the past rarely rise up. Even if there is one SDHD thought, it just loses power over the feeling of powerfulness in me. Even my 11 year-old son, Kai who attended the same program with me, told me that he feels that he has so much potential and a huge possibility inside him and he feels that he is living like a king. For children, they have less SDHD patterns to deal with than adults, so they just fall in tune with the Cosmic consciousness very easily. It is such a joy being with him.
I simply love my morning sadhana (spiritual practice) which is the “Me time”, a quiet time when I spend in deep listening to myself and being in communion with the Source. This is also a time for downloading of understanding that I could explore. Whatever guidance I seek, I just need to send it to the hiranya garbha (the golden cosmic womb) in my inner space, it has an independent intelligent mechanism to provide the right understanding and spiritual guidance required for my life. I’ve learned to trust this intelligence over time as my inner Guru.
One specific example happened yesterday when a client who came to see me for consultation on how to jumpstart her desire to start her own business, something she shared with me in December. The private session was about helping her to move into the process of creation and manifestation of her new reality. During the morning quiet time in my moving meditation of yoga practice, it became clear to me how I could guide her: 1) to help her realise her true inspirations in life, 2) to awaken her Shakti, energy that is responsible for making her feel active and alive. The process also entails in helping her to cognise the obstacles she is experiencing such as laziness and boredom with her job and life. When you are enriching others from the pure space of Shivoham, both the guide and the recipient reach the state of fulfilment and completion.
The next happening is teaching yoga from the state of Shivoham and it turned out to be another extraordinary phenomenal experience. I noticed that by creating a space of friendliness with body-mind-spirit in the class, I was able to transmit the higher possibility of moving from the space of “I am Divine” to my students as an experience. Each one received a different click from the experience depending on their patterns and the subjective world they live in. One thing is clear, I am just a pure channel for the divine intelligence. Interestingly, while holding the space and eliciting the Shivoham experience in the students in the yoga practice, I entered into a deep restful awareness (samadhi).
At a more material plane of existence, there seems to be a more casual relationship with some of the things which I used to be clutched on like body, food habits, money and relationship. This body is much more at ease with itself, I no longer feel the heaviness at the lower back and shoulder. I no longer need to be a Nirahari (living on liquids) with this new state according to Swamiji (my guru), even though this body intelligence prefers to have liquid most of the time. Yesterday, I allowed myself the joy of savouring the chocolate which I used to enjoy during my childhood and I shared the pack of chocolate with my fellow sangha members. What a simple casual happening! It allows me to live the experience fully so that I can go beyond it. Even spending money becomes a casual flow of choices because I know wealth is meant to be circulated as Laksmi (Goddess of abundance). Whatever I need I can just create from the pure powerful inner space. In relationships, there is such a deep friendliness with people who are vibrating with the same frequency. Even those who are not in the same state, I take responsibility for them to experience their true Self.
These are just some incidents I am able to share after 1 week but the truth is Shivoham experience had fundamentally shifted my very cognition of how I see Self, World, Humanity and God. Living in Shivoham is living in non-duality (advaita), life can only be more expansion, health, wealth and bliss. Namaste 😀