Recently I’ve been working with a female client on her possessiveness and jealousy patterns for 2 months. She is a very attractive, bubbly young lady with a beautiful heart. She came to me after attending one Friday yoga class with me and asked if I could help her on some of her issues. She shared that she had been experiencing a lot of frustration, constant tiredness, at times desperation from a shrinking feeling with her life, literally so much of her energy was being sapped away by these two patterns!
Firstly, we started to dig into her past incidents which contributed to the development of incompletions with relationships and a constant need for attention and approval of others inside her. She was able to identify a list of incidents from her past clearly and started to complete with them.
Here is an important truth about possessiveness. This pattern is related to our heart centre, whenever we crave for attention from others, our heart energy centre (Ananhata chakra) gets blocked. We will be constantly demanding attention from others when we are not authentic about who we hold our self for our self – our mamakara (self-image). When we are integrated with our self-image, our heart centre will be awakened and pure loving energy will be flowing through us.
Authenticity means being established and responding to life from who you believe yourself for yourself, what you believe as yourself for others, what others believe as you. Having all the 3 in tune is Authenticity, meaning you living to the peak of your capacity of your life as per your understanding and others’ understanding as your peak capacity.
Until we start to build a conscious identity of our self, we will be subjected to negative emotions of insecurity, jealousy and possessiveness. Essentially, to build a conscious identity requires one to define his/her 4 best images: Mamakara (self image) – 1) who you project yourself to be for yourself? 2) Ahankara (Outer image) – who you project yourself to others? 3) Anyakara (Others’ image about you) – who others believe you to be to the peak of your capacity as per your understanding and others’ understanding? 4) Swa-anyakara (your image about others) – How you perceive others?
Indifference to other’s image (Anyakara) is inauthenticity. Whenever there is a non-alignment between the image you carry about others (Swa-anyakara), and the image others carry about you (Anyakara), it is called jealousy which is the outcome of an innate violence you carry. Jealousy starts only to justify you at the beginning, then it becomes a supremacy with comparison due to your inauthenticity. When you are not authentic and you don’t want to expand you to the others’ image about you, you will carry an impractical image or expectations of others just to teach them a lesson. This clash is comparison and jealousy. The violence we express is deeply rooted in inauthenticity. If we learn to take responsibility for the violence we carry and complete with the violence, it will lose power over us.
If we align ourselves back to authenticity and integrity to what we feel as our self, we will have the tremendous love for every being. We will understand how much flaws inside us, we can accept ourselves as we are; we will be able to accept the whole world as it is. The scale to gauge if you are going to stretch yourself boils down to this – if it fits within your self-image (Mamakara) and outer-image (Ahankara). If yes, do it!
Every Anyakara comes to you as a boon – a possibility for expansion if you stretch yourself, you will start expressing extraordinary powers. If you complete with that person, you will be peace and contentment with yourself and others. However, if you are indifferent or disrespectful, you end up in jealousy and hurting others and yourself.
The key truth about jealousy is it is related to the throat energy centre (Visuddhi chakra). It collapses due to jealousy and you operate in life from a narrow and limited perspective, you will have experience of desperation and frustration, tiredness and constantly shrinking feeling. By completing and dropping jealousy pattern, your throat chakra gets awakened and you will have access to infinite Cosmic Energy.
After 6 sessions, this client of mine was able to have a major cognitive shift and started working on creating her conscious identity. She shared with me yesterday that experientially she is seeing a positive change in her life into expansion.
In essence, to be free from the patterns of possessiveness and jealousy, we have to consciously align our best 4 images with integrity and authenticity. We have to take responsibility for our own expansion and complete with the violence we carry inside us, then we will feel a tremendous sense of empowerment from an expanded powerful inner space. Namaste 😀