How would you handle a child who has low self-esteem and fear?
Do you let the child escape and be stuck with the pattern?
Last week I happened to be travelling in Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia for a business trip. During one of my free days, I decided to organize a Nithyananda Weekend Gurukul (NWG) session at a center in Selayang. We had a total of 15 kids and 10 parents who attended this special session where it was taught by 4 visiting teachers. It was also a reunion for me and some of the children who attended a program called Nithyananda for NewGen in June with a living Avatar, Paramahamsa Nithyananda (fondly known as Swamiji).
During the 4-hr session, we experienced various segments of creative, fun and amazing experiences of
- Nithyananda Yoga – which focused on tuning the body-mind to develop strength and stability as preparation to experience Oneness with the Source. Kids were taught how yoga can be a fun and enlightening experience
- Bhakti Yoga – awakening of feeling connection with the Divine in various forms such as deities and Guru. For the first time, the kids learned how to bathe and care for the deities followed by an offering of gratitude to the Guru for raising us from darkness of ignorance to the light of liberation.
- Life Solutions – We spent some time to understand fear patterns and brought clarity in how to overcome different fears such as fear of darkness, unknown like ghost and insects or animal. When the children were given the right cognitions about their fear pattern, they were able to drop the fear immediately and embrace courage to face their fear. One boy who used to fear of darkness, after the session he was able to sleep alone for the first time. This session brought about many completions of fear to both kids and parents.
- Manifesting Powers – Many of the kids and parents were initiated by Swamiji into manifesting shaktis (powers). They were asked to pair up and download answers to a series of questions using the power of awakened Third Eye. Many experienced a breakthrough in seeing the answers on the banyan tree leave using a special alchemy product called Jnanajanan (a liquid eyeliner infused with the bio energy of an enlightened Guru, Swamiji)
Everyone had a great time and before I concluded the session, I asked the children to share one thing they learned in the session. Every child was able to share something which clicked within them. Then there was this 7 yrs-old girl who told replied ‘I don’t know’ despite my effort to phrase the questions to guide her to utter something. But she was so frightened, she went silence and I could see what was happening inside her inner space. She was scared to speak out and the ‘I don’t know’ was the easy way to escape the questioning. So, I didn’t want to let her get away with this pattern. I told her that in the 4 hrs., she must have learned something and I gave a few examples, there was no way she didn’t know. Suddenly, she burst in tears and ran to her mother.
I knew this was the perfect ‘teaching moment’ that I had to seize the opportunity to complete this child’s fear pattern. So, I went to sit with her and her mother but she was crying uncontrollably that she didn’t want to face me. I switched to speak to her in her mother-tongue (Mandarin) and helped her understand what was going on and my intention of asking her to speak out. She wouldn’t want to engage for quite a long time and she was hiding behind her mother for comfort and security. Her mother was very understanding and she wanted her daughter to come out of this pattern too. After sometime, I let another NWG teacher take over in talking to her so that she could calm down. After almost half an hour, I came back to her after she had stopped crying and was able to face me. The whole time I was holding the space of completion for her to understand and get back to her pure space. I asked her a couple of questions- whether she would attend my class in NWG again and she would shake my hand or give me a hi-five. Only when her answer is ‘YES’, she is complete with this incident and me. At first, she didn’t want to do it because she was still terrified of me. Eventually, it was only after I showed the compassionate side as Cosmic Mother that she was able to melt down her fear and be complete with me and this incident.
I must say that this was the longest completion session I’ve ever done with a child. But the patience to hold the space of completion for her was absolutely important so that she wouldn’t remain frozen. I was not going to let her go without completing with her pattern of fear and low self-esteem. I was so delighted that her mother texted the next day that her daughter woke up in a happy mood instead of her usual tantrum-throwing mood despite sleeping late the night before.
From this trip, I learned that a part of the healing process for children, as adults, we must provide our listening as well as have tremendous patience to hold a space of completion for the child to drop their wrong cognitions and patterns. I am glad that I did it! Namaste 😀