When we don’t have the right understanding about life, we resist life in many perverted ways.
Before I started my seeking, my understanding about life mainly came from my past experiences, my limited cognitions as well as the social conditioning by family and society. I was not so fortunate enough to have a proper guidance from a higher consciousness in my early age, so life felt like a dread for me by the time I grew up. The first thing that life made me experience was intense fear and violence that created tensions and shrinkage in my otherwise expanded space which I came down with. Next, I felt that life was filled with sadness, poverty, pain and suffering, jealousy, guilt, sickness and death. By and by, life became a struggle – to study, to make a comfortable living, to be happy, to look good, to please others, to fit in, to get married, to start a family,….no wonder life felt like a load. With all the ignorance and patterns of incompletion, I was constantly saying “NO” to life over the years. I was living aimlessly, being pushed and pulled by the fears and greed. Deep down, I didn’t feel I belonged here, I just wanted to go ‘HOME’, a space of joy and peace. I could see a default future I was heading – a life of suffering and diseases.
