I had been working on my different fears ever since I started my spiritual work. I am beyond the fear of losing material possessions because I know everything is impermanent and I trust my innate intelligence and capacity to recreate wealth even if it is taken away from me. I have no fear of losing my physical and mental health because I know how to care and maintain this body-mind system and use it as a vehicle for my achievement and my intended reality. I can handle the fear of losing my loved ones because I know that death is a liberation and celebration given to every individual soul tormented by the ignorance that they are separated from the Whole. However, I realised that there was ONE fear that I was still not able to overcome i.e. the fear of my “BIGNESS”, the Unknown. This fear had been there in my inner space for the last couple of years till I attended the latest Inner Awakening Level 4 in Bali 4 weeks ago. No doubt that there were too many profound alchemy processes in this Inner Awakening, but one of the fundamental experiences I had was going beyond my last fear!
In this 21-day intensive yoga and meditation retreat with a living incarnation, Paramahamsa Nithyananda, I discovered my most intimate enemy which I kept it nicely hidden away from me – the parasite patterns! It is a strange relationship as we keep them close to us not knowing they are our most intimate enemy! Another thing you should know about these parasite patterns is they are societal, meaning, they are conditioning from society as such they are the same across all human beings. It is the root pattern formed before age of 7 which is unique to individuals. There are 3 layers of parasite patterns – self-criticism is the first layer, then self-doubt is the next deeper layer which stops us from expansion and finally the deepest layer is the self-denial which is a subtle hatred for self. The self-denial pattern happens before age of 7 y.o. when you see the hatred in others about you, you swallowed everything through your visualisation because you learn everything from others at that age.
When I looked in, it became clear to me the incident that imprinted the self-denial pattern when I was barely 6 y.o. There was a violent fight between my parents one evening, my sister and I were crying and begging both parents to stop the fight. I saw the intense hatred in my mother’s eyes for her children that moment of explosive anger! The good news is I had already completed with my mother a year ago which was extraordinary. But this remaining hangover of a past memory was what I had to complete with this time!
Do you know that incompletions from our patterns cause such an irreparable damage to us? It destroys everything we need in the body and our very existence. They are the real enemies sitting in our inner space and making us powerless. We should never postpone resolving the incompletions as they can destroy our whole thinking faculty and life itself.
When we leave the body, nothing accumulated in the body comes with us. At the time of death, we will be stripped naked and totally alone, only completion is exchangeable in the new space, it is the only thing that comes with us. Completion makes death a celebration, a graceful exit. According to Paramahamsa Nithyananda, he shared that: “Completion is the best exchange currency that works anywhere in the Cosmos. It is the best asset you accumulate while in the body. Completion is the real punya (merits)! Parasite patterns are like a child. If you stare at a child, if he knows he is caught, he will simply run away! If a child knows he is caught, simply he will run away! Same way, the parasite pattern of self-criticism, self-doubt and self-denial, the moment you catch them, they will simply run away!”
The demons in the human life are these 3 parasite patterns. Everything negative we see in life is nothing but the manifestation of our parasite patterns. Because we carry these patterns in our inner identity, we express anger, arrogance and violence in our outer identity.
This is how you can identify the 3 recurring patterns: 1) when you remember the common complaints you have about yourself such as guilt or doubt about your capability or, 2) your repeated reactions with others expressed in a form of anger or frustration. You will begin to see your own intimate enemy.
Life can only be restored into your body after you complete with these parasite patterns, then you are considered “reborn”. If you have discovered the real YOU, you are at least born. If you have not discovered your parasite patterns, you are not even born. You may be having your body, moving it around but that does not mean you are living.
After I completed with my most intimate enemy, it felt like I’ve done the greatest service for myself because it was the biggest cancer that I was suffering from my entire life. My deep gratitude to my Guru who created a nurturing and safe space for many of us to heal and complete with the parasite patterns. The powerful initiations during the Inner Awakening simply burnt these parasite patterns and the neurons in our brain got rewired for expansion and success. He declared that “Destroying the parasite patterns is enlightenment; that is Nithyotsava – eternal celebration. Only then life is installed in your body”.
It is only when we are complete with these parasite patterns, we are able to expand and fathom the Unknown, the Unmanifest. Now, I am ready to embrace the infinitely powerful dimension of me. I am no longer fearful of my bigness because experientially I saw that I am just the silence, the vast emptiness! Life can only be a leela (divine play) of miracles and continuous expansion from now on. Namaste! 🙂
~ Note: if you are keen to find out how to remove your parasite patterns, feel free to contact me via [email protected].