I just returned from a 21-day spiritual retreat called Inner Awakening (IA) on a cruise with my revered enlightened master, Paramahamsa Nithyananda.  This was my 2nd IA which I had attended; the first was in June 2009 after I left my corporate life. I could say this IA was very special for me personally because this body was being used to initiate the world into a new consciousness during December 2012 Cosmic Transition. The theme for this IA was about grooming of gurus as he shared that “This IA is no longer about creating disciples, now it is time to groom gurus so that more bodies can share the responsibility of bringing the science of enlightenment to planet earth”.  So you can imagine the level of intensity, the drilling of sacred truths into our core – the bone marrow level.

The first few days were spent on performing introspection and self diagnosis on areas where leakages were happening in our inner space. He said that it is useless for him to keep pouring energy if the vessels are leaking. The first leakage that hit home was – lack of integrity.

The very first truth which still rings in my inner space is – Life only begins with integrity, integrity is life. Integrity is a universal spiritual value, unlike a morality or ethic which changes over time with society.  Integrity begins with our words! Words are our life! Words we utter to ourselves are Vedas (true knowledge) and the words we give to others are Brahma (creation). When we give a simple word consciously, and put our whole life into it by pouring everything into it, simply it becomes a reality.  The truth is – whenever we give a word and give our life to fulfil it, Existence has to fulfil our words. Vaak Siddhi (power of words) happens to us due to our integrity. This is a fundamental secret – Integrity is the technique to awaken many extraordinary powers in us. Integrity is a process that we can churn and get everything out. In short, integrity is enlightenment.

What happens when we don’t live life with integrity? When we live life without integrity, there is no  completion with ourselves and life. We start taking revenge on ourselves in a form of depression. Not only we lose self respect, we also lose people’s confidence in us. Success can only happen when we have both self confidence and others’ confidence in us.  Living a fragmented life weakens us and makes us unfulfilled as a being.

So how do we bring integrity into our life?

  • A simple conscious decision to be integrated. From today, just declare that “I am going to be integrated with words I utter to myself and others”. Very often we use loose words casually since society has taught us that “Talk is cheap”. We babble without realising that each word we utter and honour actually strengthens and integrates us. Each time we don’t honour our words we are weakened. Each time we honour the words to others, other people’ confidence in us grows. Each time we honour our words we give to ourselves, the self confidence grows.
  • Completion with yourself. Also known as “Swapurnatwa”, you have to do a completion with yourself. Completion happens when you complete your karmas, engrams (samskaras), desires, then you achieve liberation. Neither giving or receiving suffering is completion. Look inside and see so many unconscious things you did to yourself, the negative abusive words you utter to yourself.  Your being is waiting to be acknowledged by you. Just sit comfortably in front of a mirror. Have a deep eye to eye contact with your body & the reflection, the kaaya & the chaaya, both put together is you. So let the kaaya & chaaya have deep eye-to-eye contact. The first thing will happen is you will have tears, you are waiting just to cuddle and cry with yourself for so many things you did to yourself and what others did to you. Cuddle, go and cuddle your chaaya. Hold your chaaya & cry. It is perfectly fine to let the eyes pour. Just be patient with yourself and let whatever (anger, hatred, sorrow, sadness etc) needs to be let out come out spontaneously. Do this for a few days. This is a process to develop pure listening ability without inner chatters.
  • Completion with 5 major relationships. Next step is do purnatwa kriya (completion with others) with 5 important persons in your life such as your parents, spouse, children, spiritual teachers, siblings, relatives and identify incidents where you have not been integrated with your words. Relationships are not something separate from us; they are an extension of us. Many times we are not in touch with the happening, we always carry our internal judgement about people which prevents us from fully relating with people as they are. We stop listening, we are only listening to our internal dialogue. Sitting with the same person without going through the same hurt again is completion. When I did this process with the 5 important persons in my life, I realised there were so many areas I had not be integrated with my words to them.  A lot of time my cunning mind will justify my actions based on the convenience, old mental patterns or ego. Suddenly, I was exposed to my ugly pus from the lack of integrity! This realisation was so powerful which completely shook me to my core! Not only many past wounds got healed in the process, at the end of this process I felt such a wonderful lightness in my being.
  • Completion with all other relationships. Make a list all the relationships (bosses, colleagues, friends, social communities etc) you have had and perform the same purnatwa kriya with all of them for at least 6 months to one year. Complete with the actions if you intend to do so or at least inform the other parties if you cannot fulfill your words so that they can move on with alternative plans.

If you are able to begin practising the above steps sincerely, you will see a deep healing of your past relationships. This entire process is tantamount to doing a thorough acid-wash of your inner space, the outcome is healing all the past emotional wounds, mending broken relationships and rebuilding trust again. Another extraordinary benefit you will notice is a significant reduction in the number of thoughts in your inner space and you start experiencing a sense of inner peace.

As we become more and more subtle by bringing integrity even at the thought level (words to ourselves), we become responsible with every thought. When we become integrated in our thinking, even those areas we’ve decided not to be integrated, it is our conscious decision. This does not break our integrity because we are prepared to go through it, comes what may.

According to Paramahamasa Nithyananda, he said the practice of integrity raises us to the level of authenticity. Authenticity means being established as we are without the need to look good or how we are perceived. Whenever we are angry or hurt, we are exposed to our inauthenticity. All our pains, anger, discontentment and emptiness invariably end up in inauthenticity which is responsible for our failures in life. The moment we are aware of our inauthenticity, we become authentic. With authenticity, we become matured beings because we are ready and courageous enough to confront our own inauthenticity and alter it the moment we have the awareness.

The churning of integrity is such a powerful process that it ensures our entire thinking gets aligned to our life purpose such that  we stop wasting time and energy on unnecessary confusions and distractions in life. In sum, we become very powerful beings!

For this whole year, personally I am committed to go on bringing completion with myself and all the relationships I have with other people in my life. Let’s start 2013 with a major purification of our inner space and make way for a return to Presence.  May all human beings be complete with themselves and their relationships, so that we become integrated as a being.  Namaste. 🙂