10 Steps for Overcoming the Fear of Making a Change
I am currently working with a client who has been suffering from fear psychosis since young. To help her understand her situation, I shared with her certain basic understanding about fear which resonated with her. As fear is a base emotion that everyone experiences, I know that by sharing this knowledge here, many people would be helped by it.
The first truth is – fear is a form of energy inside us, hence it cannot be destroyed. Energy can only be transformed from one form to another. Fear is our nature, if we don’t direct it towards any object, it is pure fear which helps us in survival and being spontaneous. Whenever pure fear happens, we feel rejuvenated with a tremendous relaxation which expresses as courage and energy in us. Hence our fear is directly connected to our life energy.
Since fear is our nature, therefore no one can claim to be fearless. Either you are in fear or you learn to handle fear without fear, that’s all. If anyone professes to be fearless, be very clear, he has not gone to the depth of fear and the human response to it. Don’t start thinking that he is a super human and you are a lesser mortal. A person who knows how to break the boundary of possibilities, then he becomes all powerful with courage to face his fears. This means he has gone beyond fear by opening all possibilities. Fearlessness is having the courage to face fear, it is having the intelligence to live the intense fear without directing it towards any object. When the intense fear happens without any object, we experience an intense relaxation and peace. Fear is a powerful energy which gives a deep relaxation and rejuvenation.
If you look in, you will realise all your fears are nothing but the fear of your fears. When you consciously work on your fears, you will understand that fear is just your response or reaction to an incident or thought. Depending on how you respond, you can claim that you did not have fear or had fear. And with more awareness, you can respond towards fear without resistance! If you shake off your fears and allow your intelligence to surface, you will find that your fears are just shadows of objects that don’t exist.
Another important truth is human beings go through fear strokes every day and night. Fear strokes are the short spikes of fear which come and go in a few seconds time. For e.g. you may be walking on the road, suddenly you see a rope and think it is a snake. You experience a sudden rise of fear, which subsides in just a few seconds because by that time, you realize it is only a rope. This is a fear stroke.
It is like this – there is always a current of fear in us and at times, it rises to a peak. These fear strokes can happen with great intensity although they are for a short duration of time. Fear strokes weaken our immune system because they release depression-inducing chemicals and even accelerate the ageing process. They can even cause a heart attack or make our hair turn white quickly.
On an average, everyone experiences about 6-12 fear strokes per day and night consciously or unconsciously in dreams and waking state. Conscious fear strokes are to do with things like the telephone ringing well past midnight or while in the car, a motorist suddenly swerving to your side or when you are watching a horror movie and someone taps you on your shoulder. In addition, you also get fear strokes in your dreams but you tend to forget them when you wake up. Fear strokes are like shaking the roots of a plant, it is very dangerous for the body-mind system.
Fears can be classified into 5 major categories such as
• Fear of losing name and fame, reputation and outer world possessions
• Fear of losing love of family members • Fear of losing physical health • Fear of losing mental stability and mental health • Fear of the unknown (e.g. darkness) and of death itself
Fear is associated with the second energy center, Swadhistana chakra which is located above the public bone at the tailbone. This chakra is also known our being center, a center of rejuvenation. When there is a constant hangover of fear and insecurities in our Swadhistana, our being centre collapses. Inauthenticity with our being is responsible for fear, meaning, if our Being is not integrated authentically, hangover of fear remains in us.
It is essential to face each one of these fears in order to be liberated from them. Most of our fears in handling fearful situations come from resisting the experience of fear in the first place. The more we fight, the more we empower the fear. Diverting our attention away from fear is also not the way because then the fear still remains with us.
The right way to go beyond fear is to look at your fears in the face and don’t try to resist it or suppress it. Just look at the fear, note the fear and allow the fear to shake you, live the fear intensely without any reservation, the fear will start to evaporate. Suddenly you will find that it does not touch you anymore. Then the energy that is locked up in the Swadhistana chakra will become available to you and you will have the confidence to embrace life and live it fully. Then there is no need to depend on societal prestige and identity because you will have a deep inner fulfilment and dignity to support you.
Fundamentally, all our fears are nothing but the fear of death under various disguises. If we deeply analyze the fear of death, we will come to know that people are afraid to die because unconsciously, they feel that they should have been somewhere higher up than they are now. They feel they have not reached their actual place in life and so they are not ready to leave. The fear of death arises from our conviction that we have not lived our lives fully, that we have not accomplished what we have come on earth to accomplish. When we live totally with awareness, we will be ready to let go when the time comes. We can also say “goodbye” to people and situations that no longer serve us without regret and guilt.
To transcend the fear of death, we need to understand some deep truths about death. The moment we understand the secrets and mystery of death, we also understand the secrets of life. Hence, we need to solve the mystery of death and see it as a mere continuity in a different form. When we stop fearing death, we then know to what extent we have been missing life itself. Knowing death is about knowing how to live life consciously.
Death is the most powerful mechanism, either to get enlightened or to get oneself drowned in deeper and deeper unconsciousness. Death is the door to different possibilities, different happenings. In fact, death is the greatest teacher ever and death is the boon from Existence that can give us the ultimate gift of enlightenment. Death is never a discontinuity, it is continuity in some other form or simply liberation.
By conquering the fear of death, we actually conquer death itself because death is just one more imaginary experience! Our fear makes us imagine death to be more frightening than it actually is. We wear glasses of fear which don’t allow us to see the reality as it is.
The sacred secret is – when we can accept death as just a continuity in another form, our capacity to enjoy life is increased significantly. Our whole body relaxes, our consciousness expands; our living capacity expands. Whether we accept it or not, every moment of our life, the fear of death lingers in the subconscious mind. By understanding death and fear of death, our life will turn out to be rich, not wealthy rich but experientially rich. Richness is what is really important in life.
If you have the fortune of experiencing death psychologically through a proper guidance of an enlightened being, simply you will release the energy that has been locked in the second chakra due to death-fear. Once this chakra opens up, your whole quality of life changes itself. One such programme is Nithya Kriya Yoga (formerly known as Life Bliss Program Level 2) which is conducted by a rare living incarnation, Paramahamsa Nithyananda. In this programme, he takes the participants through a conscious death experience, a re-birthing process. (Check http://nithyananda.org/program/life-bliss-program-level-2)
In essence, every fear can be used as a door to higher consciousness or enlightenment. An important process of enlightenment is to go through the fear of death so that the energy from the Swadhisthana chakra will be free. It is only when we have conquered the fear of death that we are truly able to live consciously. Namaste 🙂