There was a time in my life I used to worry a lot during my younger days because I did not have the spiritual understanding to handle my mind and its different negative emotions. Sometimes the worries could get so intense that it became an anxiety attack or it would trigger some digestive problems. Looking back, I feel only deep gratitude for the beautiful inner space that my master, Paramhamsa Nithyananda created in me where no worries can ever touch me. I would like to share with my readers some of the deeper insights I discovered about worries and how you can embrace a worry-free life.
There are a few important things we need to understand about worries.
First of all, worries exist the moment we have certain expectations about how things should happen. Worries and tensions are the result of the gap between reality and our expectations about life. Worries are nothing but a continuous stream of unconnected and irresponsible negative thoughts which are being generated by our unconscious mind. Worries are like food for our mind which keeps it alive by exaggeration and constant negative inner chatter. By its very nature, our mind constantly oscillates between the past and the future. It is like a tape recorder which repetitively replays the negative thoughts. In short, worries are an influx of negative and repetitive words which run like a current through our mind. This is the familiar dwelling patterns of our mind which are called samskara or engrams (engraved memories of the past), which serve as an undesirable resource inside us for all our present and future actions. It is because of these stored memory of engrams, we react illogically in the present, causing more pain and suffering to ourselves.
Next important truth, worries actually destroy our future of possibilities since most of our worries are about the future, worries suck away our energy and awareness which could have been used to do the planning and actions. In the end, we just fall back into the same cycle of failures or non-action.
One unconscious pattern I’ve seen is some people are so habituated to their worries that even if there is nothing to worry about, they become uneasy and even feel that they have nothing to live for. They create yet another worry on top of other worries, this pattern is called worrying about worries.
How can we stop worrying?
Since worry is created by the mind, the way out is also through our mind. The answer lies in becoming aware of our inner chatters and the illogical workings of the mind. We need to bring integrity into our thoughts.
To begin, we need to create an awareness to observe the knot of worry inside us and see how it has been created, how the knotting has happened. Once we are able to identify that and by bringing integrity into our thinking, we can just simply reverse the process of creating the knot by untying it. When we are not able of this, we end up pulling and pushing the knot, entangling ourselves even more.
This is where meditation comes in! With meditation, we are able to develop this awareness and start to create a distance between our inner chatter and ourselves. Through becoming a watcher of our mind, we can merely observe the ripples of the mind without being affected by it. As we observe the inner chatters, we will stop taking it seriously and begin to become aware of the flow of Existence and the possibility of living with intuition as our guide, instead of using the logic of the mind. Then we are no longer under the control of the mind and its illogical decision-making processes. We can then be free from worries because we know the futility of worries.
The watcher knows that it is futile to try to control the mind or to resist worries and that the key is to merely stand back and become a witness to everything. When this happens, when we don’t empower the pattern of worrying, worrying will cease to exist automatically. In this way, we will begin to live in peace, instead of in constant anxiety. Life will begin to flow instead of being a struggle.
Here are some practical tips you can start practicing:-
- Take responsibility for everything. Many times, worries happen because we do not want to be responsible for the change or expansion in life. It is only by taking the responsibility in action that we stop worrying. Here’s a scale to see if worries are controlling you or you are in charge of your life. If you are comfortable talking about the worries without taking any action, then worries are controlling you. If you don’t linger on them, instead take the responsibility for everything within you and around you, then you are in charge of your life.
- List down things that make you joyful. Think of all the things that make you joyful, write them down and place it where you are see this list frequently. Declare that you will only linger on those things that make you joyful and nothing else. Other things you will just attend to it and do the necessary steps and then forget about it. This simple technique will conserve a lot of your energy to things that really matter in life.
- Chronological planning vs psychological planning. My master, Paramahamsa Nithyananda explained that there are 2 types of planning: chronological planning and psychological planning. The former is planning based on a timescale i.e. you decide what task you do at certain time. This is a practical way to organise work in a way to give the best results. This kind of planning with sincere actions will take us from fulfilment to more fulfilment. Psychological planning, on the other hand, is in our head with no relevance to time or space. It is just constant serious planning in our mind which is nothing but complex negativity. We are so trained by society to keep analysing again and again, till we get into a dull worrisome state! Psychological planning actually boosts our ego as it makes us feel we are a great person because we are handling things of great magnitude. This is how ego can survive. The subtle truth is being without worry puts you in bliss but you feel insecure as you are nobody, you have no identity. For the survival of the cunning mind, it has to create an illusion to feed the ego.
- Focus on the present moment. Live in the present, here and now. Every moment is going past, what is there to cling on to? Clinging will bring misery upon misery. There is no point in thinking about the future too because it is yet to come. The future will also come in the form of the present only, so focus on the present. When we are in the present, we will feel and enjoy Existence and develop a deep trust in Existence to teach and guide us. Not only will we feel light, we will also have so much energy to flow with Existence.
- Witness your emotions. As you watch your emotions in a meditative state, the distance between your emotions and you will start to increase. Slowly the distance will increase till one day, you will disappear from the scene. Then you need not put any effort to drop emotions, they will simply drop off on their own accord and you will feel disconnected from it. You will feel like a new person because a shift in consciousness happens in you. When you stop giving life to worries, you will be able to see how others are helplessly caught up in that cycle. You will be able to see how they do the same foolish thing by endlessly talking about worries to people. By being a watcher of your emotions without giving them power, you are liberated from the emotions.
- Catch the thread of Existence. When we are in awareness, we can use our mind at our discretion. Our mind becomes a reliable friend instead of an enemy. With awareness, we can see how our mind plays and creates tension for us. Simply watch life as if it were a drama. The more we watch, the more our mind will become still. The moment we experience stillness, we have caught the thread of going beyond the mind.
In essence, it is possible to live a life without worries. The way to be out of worries is to become a witness, an observer to our mind and life. Then there will be no room for worries but only pure love. We will experience the infinite love of Existence that constantly showers on us every moment. Namaste 🙂