Understanding Children with Special Needs

Posted on by Teo Siew Yong

kids-playing

Two weeks ago, I attended a mind-blowing eN-Parenting webinar by Ma Nithya Rishi Advaitananda, the Head of Nithyananda Vidyapeetam based in Bangalore on the topic “Understanding and Raising Children with Special Needs”. It not only gave me so much clarity in terms of the consciousness of these children but also the issues of parents and society which stifle these children. I hereby thank Ma Advait for shedding the light on this subject and sharing her personal experience which was such an inspiration.

As a parent of a 11 y.o son, I know being a parent in the modern time is a challenge, let alone being parents of children with special needs. One thing I experienced personally is that when these parents don’t understand the truths about these children, quite often they carry a deep incompletion from guilt due to the child’s condition and the frustration from the demand of caring for their child. They think that their child is not smart and therefore he or she can’t achieve much in life. So they worry about how their child is going to fit in the society. They start responding from the space of impossibility and powerlessness. From this incompletion, they try to over-protect their child from life which results in depriving the child from what he or she can do. Through the parents’ incompletion, instead of giving confidence, they make the child feel incomplete. It is so unfortunate to see such vicious cycle being perpetuated!

Fundamentally, the first step is to bring the right understanding to the parents that they are the chosen ones for these special children. These parents are here to stand up for who they are and hold a space of possibility for them. The next step is the parents need to be healed from the deep incompletion of guilt and blame so that they can begin to shift from the space of “why me?!” to the positive space of “why not them?”. The society will always see them as impossibility but as parents, that shouldn’t make us incomplete.

There are a few truths that parents and our society need to understand about children with special needs:-

  • They are unique. They live in a different zone, they see the world from outside. They come from innocent world, each one of them is here for a beautiful life on planet earth. By being who they are with authenticity they exude, they are like a beautiful flower that we can appreciate.
  • They are natural leaders. These children are highly sensitive to the external world such as the people, things and the environment. As a result, they can learn things better and they see more in life. These children often get mocked at or bullied in school, as a part of their survival instinct, they are highly courageous which make them natural leaders. Never underestimate these children because they can be leaders of tomorrow with extraordinary talents.
  • Many can be healed. In one research in USA, after a proper brain scan it was found that 50% of the so-called children with autism are actually not suffering from autism. They discovered that the something else in the children’s brain – a certain circuit and through proper medication and therapy, they can be healed completely. Another programme called eN-genius offered by Nithyananda Vidyapeetam, it had been reported that there are children with Autism and ADHD who are now able to live a normal life after the initiation for a living incarnation, Paramahamsa Nithyananda in this  21-Day programme. (http://en-education.nithyananda.org/en-genius)

The next question is: How can we groom them to be successful?

  • Stand up for them with authenticity. How they are is not important, as parents and a society at a whole, we should stand up for them and help them to become who they want to be in this world. Let us see them as extraordinary beings with special talents.
  • Bring completion within them. Whatever incompletions such as the hurt or pain from bullying or traumas, talk to them to bring the right understanding and help them to complete from their past hangovers and get back to space of completion and the space of ‘I can’.
  • Work on their talents. Don’t focus on the issues of who they are outside. Instead, focus on their extraordinary talents whether it is in music, art, craft, memory power or anything that they are passionate about or they feel complete with. Connect them to their passion and creativity which bring confidence and fulfilment in them.
  • Make them practice, practice and practice. When they are not motivated, laziness will become their real problem. As parents or mentors, don’t give in to their laziness pattern, make it a confidence challenge than a punishment. Constantly help them to experience the space of possibilities.
  • Form a Teamily. A ‘teamily’ means team and family. You can help your child to form a teamily among his or her friends and the family, you get involved in projects with his or her teamily and everyone start causing each other’s reality.

In essence, children with special needs are here to add richness into our lives. We can help them to flower into beautiful beings by understanding them from the  spiritual context and raise them to their peak capacity by holding a space of possibilities for them. Namaste 😀

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About Teo Siew Yong

Teo Siew Yong draws from over a decade's worth of experience in the Vedic healing arts of Yoga and Mediation to share the sacred knowledge and experiences of self healing and self discovery with people who are ready to look within.