Recently I have been working with a few clients with relationship issues. One client realised she had a pattern of failed relationships in her life, deep down she felt the desire to be loved. However, she seemed to attract a similar type of partner which led her into the emotional roller-coaster of break-up and the loneliness. She was not able to come out of this rut in which she had been stuck for a long time. After 3 private sessions, she found the root pattern of her wrong cognition, completed it and healed herself from the past.
This experience triggered my contemplation on the role of relationship in one’s life and the right spiritual perspective of having a fulfilling relationship. Relationships are not something separate from you; they are the very extension of you. The best relationships start when you have a great relationship with yourself. If you are unable to be in restful awareness, if you don’t have the ability to sit with yourself silently, you should know that you do not have a good relationship with yourself. First you have to build your relationship with yourself. If you are feeling powerless in your relationships, be very clear that you are powerless in your relationship with yourself. Your relationship with yourself and your relationship with others both happen from the same space. If you are feeling powerless in your relationship with others, you will be suffering from the same powerlessness in your relationship with yourself.
I remembered a powerful Akashic reading channelled by Paramahamsa Nithyananda (fondly known as Swamiji) when someone asked him about – ‘How did relationship merge as an important thing in life?’
Here is the extract of his reply from the Cosmic archive:
“This relationships give you the feeling it is very important in the life because through every relationship, you try to have extended life. While you are living, whatever your body and mind cannot do for your interest and pleasure, you try to fulfil through the body and minds of your relationships. And same way whatever they cannot fulfil through their body & mind, they are trying to fulfil through your body & mind. So mutually, each other helping to fulfil the others’ interest through body & minds of each other is relationships.
If both of you understand the interest of each other and are ready to support each other’s fulfilment, it is called successful relationship. There comes love, compassion, sacrifice and spiritual growth. But if both of them are not understanding the real agendas of others, interests of others, continue the relationship may be because one person has hidden interests, hidden agendas which he/she does not want to reveal it to the other or which he/she himself/herself is not aware. When this kind of situations arises, relationships break or relationships continue to exist, it is being exploited. With exploitation, these kind of relationships lead to the worst great sin of keeping the other person as slave.
Whenever the slavery happens, Cosmos strongly condemns it. So no slavery is allowed in the cosmos. Cosmos is strictly against slavery because slavery is equivalent to the murder of partial time. In slavery, even if the other person has their body and mind, it is equivalent to they are killed, they are murdered because that body and mind is not useful to that person anymore.
So relationship with an open, mutual interest should be encouraged and it supports both the beings to evolve towards the fulfilment and finally the understanding how many bodies and minds you may use to fulfil your interest, that your interests are not going to lead you to your restful awareness. So that understanding may help you to renounce all the interests and even your own body and mind and settle down in restful awareness. So this understanding will naturally be leading you towards enlightenment.
Going smoothly towards that understanding will be happening through the right understanding of relationships. The relationships with the mood of exploiting other persons with hidden agendas without you revealing it to others about your interests or you yourself not knowing it, will lead to more and more destruction and depression, it will be the sin of slavery, if it breaks it will give you a great devoid, depression, a feeling of emptiness.
The science of relationship is trying to have more body-mind to fulfil your interest and trying to give the other person also your body and mind to fulfil his/her interests. As long as it is mutual, it is with a deep understanding, it should be encouraged, supported and blessed. Relationship with a deep understanding with each other is equivalent to conscious birth, relationships without mutual understanding, but still not broken, is equivalent to unconscious life. Relationship without mutual understanding and broken is equivalent to death! All unconscious life will be afraid of death and end in death. Same way, all relationships which does not have mutual understanding, will constantly have fear of being broken. Finally it will break and bring tremendous suffering to both persons who are involved in it!”
From the depth of my being, I know that by putting this cosmic truth about relationships on records, will help many couples to rethink about their relationship and align themselves towards a fulfilling and successful relationship that is both open and mutually supportive of each other. This will lead them to the understanding of raising themselves to restful awareness and eventually experience they are enough unto themselves. Namaste! 😀