Be Complete with Your Relationships

Posted on by Teo Siew Yong

Last year, one of my male students shared with me that his friend’s wife after getting into the path of yoga, left her husband and 2 kids to live with a spiritual community. The reason was she felt that the family life was holding her back on her path of evolution. His friend was terribly devastated about his wife’s extreme decision which created a negative perception of yoga and spirituality in general.

I explained to him that this was not my understanding about the path of seeking, the right knowledge is about having completion in one’s relationships and responsibilities, then he or she is free to renounce the householder life. Running away only creates more incompletion and guilt inside one’s inner space which impedes the spiritual expansion. Completion means you feeling empowered and fulfilled without any hangover in the inner space.  Fundamentally, life is about completion and the power of fulfilment. Even Buddha and Mahaveera had to do their completion before their mission. This is where many people misunderstood the actions of Buddha or Mahaveera’s renunciation as a technique for enlightenment.

According to a living incarnation, Paramahamsa Nithyananda, he explained that it was needed for Buddha to retire into the forest to create the right space in him and do the completion. It was necessary for Mahaveera to renounce the kingdom to experience completion in him. But that action itself is not a technique or methodology. Now there are people who try to imitate Mahaveera or Buddha, thinking that they can achieve the space of Mahaveera or Buddha by running away. For Buddha or Mahaveera, it was necessary to create the space but for common men, it is not necessary. For many of us who live in society, building that space where people are living is the real challenge because it forces us to also transform the people who are incomplete around us. Many people find it too difficult and they simply give up on people. So running away from society to the forest is an act of extreme selfishness. Buddha did not retire to the forest because of fear of working with people. He needed the time to create the space and the moment the space was right, he came out and started working with people and enriching the world. In cases where people retire into the forest for the wrong reason, they will never create the right space. Running away for the wrong reason is tantamount to driving in the wrong direction! With this wrong understanding by people which brought a separation between material life and spiritual life in Buddhism and Jainism. On the contrary, in the Vedic tradition, both material life and spiritual life are interwoven into LIFE itself. That is why all incarnations of Vedic tradition were kings, they played with all dimensions of life.

Life happens to us with others. You can be a good mother only when your son or daughter is complete with you as mother. Only when your spouse is complete with you, you can be a good husband or wife. Only when your father and mother are complete with you as a good son or daughter, you will be good son or daughter. Only when your employees are complete with you as boss, you will be a good boss. Only when your boss is complete with you as a good employee, you will be good employee. When you expect them to fulfil your expectation, it is right for them to expect you to fulfil their expectation. If you’re involved in their life and they’re involved in your life, is it not right that this fulfilment should occur? Life is fulfilled only when you fulfil others’ expectations, with whosoever you have expectation. You don’t need to fulfil the expectation of a complete stranger but you have to fulfil the expectations of those with whom you have expectations. When you don’t take responsibility for what you mean to others, it comes back to you as irritation!

Sometimes when you are not authentic and unable to handle the people who come in your space spontaneously, you just want to escape from these relationships and hide in a cave, it is being inauthentic because you are not able to stretch yourself to your peak capability. Any conflict you experienced in your inner space reminds you of your inauthenticity in relationships. They are gentle reminders to you that you need to expand. It is your ignorance in the space of relationships that causes damage in others and in you. Any damage you cause damage in relationships, you also cause damage in you because all the relationships you carry decide the confidence and energy you have about you.

In my life, I too made the similar mistake, not to the extent of leaving my family and hiding in the caves or forest. When one spouse is going through expansion in his/her understanding about life, there will bound to be a feeling of suffocation in the relationship because both are radiating at a different frequency. It is quite easy to be possessed by the spiritual ego of superiority and give up on the spouse. My husband didn’t share the same spiritual ideology as I have despite so many attempts of sharing, the mistake I made was giving up on him, meaning we lived a separate life and dream under the same roof just for the sake of social responsibility! That was the life I lived for last few years till this year which was a major turning point for me. I was fortunate and eternally grateful that I received the proper knowledge and guidance from my guru, Paramahamsa Nithyananda.

Before that, due to my ignorance and inauthenticity, I shut down the space of positive possibility for us. After the understanding on the principles of life, I realized I have to complete with all my relationships especially the loved ones. The moment this understanding dawned on me, I reclaimed my integrity and authenticity, I took responsibility to bring completion with my husband. After a couple sessions of completion, I could see how the unhappy past got burnt away just by making a simple decision not to give up on him. I just knew I’ve opened a new space for positive possibility for both of us. After the completion, I realised the inner chatters also started to reduce tremendously and I am now able to get into the state of restful awareness more frequently.

For those of you who understand the science of many births, you will understand that till you feel fulfilled and complete, you are going to continue to be in this roller coaster ride of cycle of birth and death. Being caught in the cycle of up and down is a mental pattern which we need to jump out. Completion is the technique to go beyond the pattern of birth and death, not escapism.

In essence, work on completion with yourself, with others and with life. Completion is the spiritual practice with life! Completion is living enlightenment. Namaste 🙂

 

 

 

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About Teo Siew Yong

Teo Siew Yong draws from over a decade's worth of experience in the Vedic healing arts of Yoga and Mediation to share the sacred knowledge and experiences of self healing and self discovery with people who are ready to look within.